The Fall of Man is the Fall of God. And Man has been taking it in the shorts ever since ad infinitum.

The foundational belief of the JudeoChristian faith rests on the notion that Mankind is a sinner right from the moment of conception and for all eternity, and that Jesus sacrificed himself on just another ho-hum, workaday Roman crucifix to provide a blood and flesh-strewn pathway to redemption for all mankind for this ‘original sin.’  That is, Jesus was a ‘sin offering‘ to the Lord of the desert tribes of Israel as defined by and demanded from the Lord  (who was, in fact, Jesus on the Cross, which means God sacrificed Himself to Himself…huh? Crazy, isn’t it. But I digress).

So, what is this ‘original sin’ you ask?  Why, it is the sin of separation of Man from God by Adam and Eve eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil in the Garden of Eden (which is to say self-knowledge, because all humans have the capacity for both good and evil).  In other words, God created Adam and Eve as perfect God-like beings, ignorant of the notions of good and evil, and thus of their potential humanity.  God created a couple of non-human, mini-me’s to amuse Himself and to keep Him company like a couple of lap dogs, or Pinocchios for the Big Gepetto in the Sky.  But, Gepetto also created a means by which his conditionally-beloved Pinocchios could cut their marionette strings and become self-responsible, self-aware, logical, rational human beings, and thus not God-like anymore.

If God’s ultimate goal was to create human beings, then why did he create marionettes first?  Marionettes whose only path to becoming fully human was to violate the One Rule set forth by the Big Gepetto Himself, the punishment for which was ‘banishment forever from the Garden of Eden’ (which is, of course, a metaphor for ‘becoming human’).  God really wanted human beings, but instead created God-like marionettes first and told them that if they chose to become human they would be choosing to separate themselves from their Creator, and choosing eternal damnation for themselves and for all Mankind from conception through eternity.

But wait, there’s more!  I suppose God got a little ‘ronery‘ kickin’ it all by Himself in the Garden.  And, so God changed His mind and made Himself human and magically came down to earth by implanting Himself in the womb of a ‘Blessed Virgin’ (of course, all those middle-eastern men are just nuts about their virgins, aren’t they?) and grew up to be a Jewish carpenter/rabbi, and allowed Himself to be sacrificed to Himself as a sin offering.

But wait, there’s more!  He told humanity that by eating My flesh and drinking My blood, you can wash away your original sin and remain fully human, and at the same time be One with Me again, just like in the ‘Good Old Days’ when you were just My marionettes chillin’ in the cool of the day.  In other words, God said, “You can have your cake and eat it too.”

Pretty crazy stuff, isn’t it?  And people actually buy this hogwash as actual fact!  A FACT?  People, are you not astonished at how gullible you are?  Are you not astonished to accept notions such as vicarious redemption, human sacrifice, and cannabilism as your religious beliefs, and in the same breath call yourselves modern and sophisticated?  Folks, it doesn’t get more primitive than this.

But, here’s the rub.  God allowed His marionettes to become human.  Self-aware humans capable of reason and logic with the capacity to rationally postulate the non-existence of God, and then making the logical leap to reject the very notion of God Himself! (So, the next time you hear some Republican stealth Dominionist wingnut railing against all those secular humanists trying to ruin this Christian nation, don’t forget to blame God for creating those secular humanists in the first place!)

In summary, God created marionettes that He knew would abandon Him by choosing to become fully human with the reasoning capacity to logically reject the very notion of God Himself.  So, the Fall of Man was also the Fall of God, and Man has been taking it in the shorts ever since.  Maybe once it finally dawned on God that He had made Himself Irrelevant, that’s when He came up with the Whole Jesus Routine.  What’s that line?  Love me or hate me, just don’t ignore me.  Maybe God is more human than we give Him credit for.

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